Saturday, March 18, 2006


My girlfriend Abby and I went to a TNA wrestling event last night. Longass car ride, and traffic on this side of the state is just damn scary. Even though we had great road tunes (thanks to my LJ firend codequeen), I was a bundle of nerves until we hit the arena parking lot.

That's when the fun began. We traipsed passed a line of people, and OMFG my first thought was, "Damn they sure grow 'em pretty around here!" Now, I'm not vain, by any means, but DAMN Patchy dyed hair, guys with chin pubes down to the their chest, unkempt hair all around and chicks who look like they got beat with an ugly stick and then dropped out a fucking tree to land on their faces, kids with clothes that looked weekes worth of unclean. That would explain the looks my girlfriend and I kept getting from the waiter at the sports bar. Colin, the waiter was particularly friendly, even served us beers without carding us. I hhaaaadd to drink it then, even though I don't usually consume beer in public, especially with mails of road to go to get home. *"ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" I due, after beer*

But, I digress…

The show fuckin rocked! Never mind the acute lack of intelligence that surrounded us… There is SO much more action, so many more high risk maneuvers. WOW Flying outside the ring, rocketing from the ropes, slamming against the barricades, tables and chairs.

Matches watched were: SharkBoy and Simon Diamond, Sabin versus somebody somewhat local; Rhyno and A1 from Team Canada; Team Canada vs. Insane Clown Posse; AJ Styles and Samoa Joe (in the arena known as Sloppy Joe); Abyss and Sabu (Sabu smashed Abyss' head between a table and a chair and his ass); Christian and JJ, and tag team match up between The Naturals and America's Most Wanted. SharkBoy won, Sabin won, Rhyno won (GORE GORE GORE), ICP won, Samoa won (SUCKED), AMW won, Christian won.

Now, on to the fun stuff… First, the chanting in the arnea. LMFAO They were chanting BROKE BACK MOUN-TAIN during the tagteam match. Somehow, peoples was tossed and flipped and crotch-faced against each other. I laughed so hard I could've cried. Also chants of "This is awesome," and "Holy shit." The guys behind us were most proficient with "holy shit" and anything that had 'f*ck' in it. I really began to wonder about local in-breeding then. Esecially after I turned around. SCARY

Also… WE MET WRESTLERS! After the show, Abby and I went to Bennigan's for something substantial to eat, never mind the fact it was 11 f*ckin 30pm While we were consuming our entrees, in wallks Christian Cage and DumbAss Canadian somebody D'Amore. Well, I couldn't stand it. Someone I've watched for years, right there in the same restaurant?? HELLO I got up and walked over, tapped him and told him, "Great show tonight." He got all smiles and said, "Thank you, thank you very much." I left it at that.

I walked back to my soup and tea. Not much later, AJ Styles walks in, too. He's Abby's favorite. She's all like "OMG..." I told her, "if I can go talk to Christian, the least you can do is go get a closer look." She got up, walked over close and came back with that OMFG look on her face. I threatened to bite her if she didn't go get his autograph. She got a pen from our waiter and went back over. I figured, 'if Abby can get one, so can I.' I walked over, and Abby and I talked to AJ and his dining buddy for a good 5 to 10 minutes. AJ was AWESOME, a real down to earth guy, nice and friendly and very happy to give his autograph.

Abby and I went back to our table when our waiter embarrassed us by bringing our dessert over to us where we were talking with AJ. *I could have died when he brought this big ass bowl of ice cream* I sat there, AJ's auto in my writing journal, and thought, 'dammit I am gonna get Christian's, too.' I sauntered back that way, asked politely, and he gave me his, too. Two autographs in one night!! while, AJ was cool to talk to, Christian was rather meek, and seemed a little hurt that AJ was there, and not with him. That and, the fact that I had AJ's autograph first. Oh well... Not like I have a snowballs chance in hell of seeing him again anyway.

By the time we got back to the room, it was damn near 2am. I don't think I slept more than three hours total between the general excitment and Abby's snoring. I love ya, Abby, but DAMN...


Dennie McDonald said...

they got beat with an ugly stick and then dropped out a fucking tree to land on their faces HA LOL!

Don't know much about wrestling (not since my granddad stopped watching it back in the 70's) ... but sounds, interesting

Tsavo Leone said...

Sounds like you had a damned fine time, and I'm glad to hear it.

I think those "this is awesome" chants are getting a bit old now - basically, if it ain't a WWE match then it's bound to be pretty damned good, but awesome? I hear them at every 1PW show I see, even if the match kinda stinks, but I'm betting the guys put some real effort in.

Lady M said...

You have guts going to one of those.

My luck - I'm the one who gets hit by the chair broken over some guys back and the metal hinge flies out into the audience.

Me - black eye...

Guys don't even notice and hubby sits there cheering them on.


I'm telling ya - my luck at sporting events real or imagined, is da pitts!

Lady M
PS. But it sounds like you had a blast going. Great imagery. You're very good with descriptive imagery... Brings the reader right there with you. Ahem... Even in your erotica. LMAO!

Savannah Jordan said...

It was a blast!! Maybe sometime I'll just have to show up in Texas and drag your ass to an event! :) And, yes, the locals were a particular breed of ugly that night. Don't get me started on the row of ass in front of us -- my stomach is just now starting to settle!

In truth, I think it was the most fun I've had at a wrestling event! The guys left eveything they had in the ring -- so much more spirit than the WWE matches. And, yes, even at that show, "this is awesome" was getting old hat.

Y'know someone behind us was talking about PW shows, too. I wonder if they tour around here...

Lady M~
Guts? Nah, Baby! Nobody messes with me. My attitude is enough to keep the foolhardy at bay. :) And, the one time we were close enough to the ring for any happenstance fallout, we were flipping off one of the wrestlers! *He saw us!*

Thanks for the nod to my descriptive abilities. You've hit at the heart of my goal in writing. I want to give my readers the imagery that I see... or feel. LOL It's nice to know that, on some level, I succeed.

Lady M said...

Oh baby - do you ever succeed...

That erotica - yummmalicious.

I pay good money for that stuff and am always left high and dry... Unlike with your stuff. *grins*

Savannah Jordan said...

Always happy to oblige, Lady M! Keep your eyes open, and check in at Aphrodite's Apples, as they will be publishing a collection of my erotica titled Patheon: Sacreligious this year. :)

Michele said...

ROTFL!! Great write up of an obvious memory worthy time in your life.

Your descriptions of the attending folk was hysterical. No wonder Jeff Foxworthy is so popular! He has plenty to draw from in real life, LOL!

So glad you have a wonderful time... and you made me laugh with your comments on snoring. Yours is the second blog that speaks of snoring...must be goin' round!

Savannah Jordan said...

I tried to take pics for you, but that damn digital camera and I just couldn't agree.

As to the general appearance of the crowd... I stand by what I said, "ugly stick and fall from a great height," add on top of the the abysmal lack of intellgience, and it could have been a scary night!

Snoring... yeah, "freight train" would be a fitting description. Hopefully none of the wrestlers staying in out hotel were near us, or they wouldn't get much sleep either!

Michele said...

HA!!! LOL!
You crack me up.