Saturday, December 31, 2005


Danger Will Robinson! Danger! A rant is to ensue:

*spit* *snort* *snarl*

We went out to eat last night, just Mr. Jordan and I. Rarity, let me tell you. But, anyway, that's not the point. On recommendation, we went to a new restaurant that BGF Lisa told me had great atmosphere and food.

Excuse me?!?

Must have been a f*ckin parallel universe that we Jordans stepped into.

We sat to our table in the 'bar' section, (loud, busy, frenetic mojo) and this cute little thing with a fresh face and pony-tail was Johnny-on-the-spot to our table. "HI," cute smile "I'm the-one-who-should-be-serving-you and I'll be your waitress tonight."

Things went down hill from that point.

In swoops the hag. Fresh-Face Waitress was chased off by Bling-Bitch Waitress with a face like a backstop and too much jewelry which, in hindsight, I am sure was a tactical distraction from her less than sparkly attitude and less than attractive looks. "I am Bling-Bitch Waitress-from-HELL and I will be your waitress tonight."

Yeah, whatever, just get us our damn drinks, okay?

And, then, she squeals, "Oh! My parents are here!"

Bling-Bitch shot from our table side to seat her parants and wait on them. Meanwhile, we are stuck waiting for Bling-Bitch Waitress to get our damn drinks! After fawning on her parent units, Bling-Bitch brought our drinks, ice already melting in my weakass ice tea. But, then her parents got their appetizers first, her parents got 6 visits to their table while we received one. We watched Bling-Bitch screw up everyone else's orders around us. Then, she FINALLY took our order. *pre-emptive* Pulled Pork BBQ and fries. How f*ckin difficult is that?!?

Needless to say, we waited a long time for our food. Bling-Bitch's parents got their food way before us. I though to myself, "Are you f*cking the pig before ya butcher it?!?" Geezus! When our orders did arrive, the sandwhich buns were greasy/soggy, indicative of the time spent waiting on Bling-Bitch to get them and bring them to our table, the BBQ was unimpressive, and Bling-Bitch f*cked up my order. Forgot the fries, which were a special request!

We won't be going back there. And our refusal is directly related to Bling-Bitch's bad service.

I would say that she totally sucked. But that would imply that she was good for something.


Bernita said...

Can I say you are so cute when you're angry?

Savannah Jordan said...

I will take that as a compliment, Bernita! I figured it was time for a little venom... lol

Michele said...

I would have left a tip....
with her manager.
A Loud, detailed, intricate tip full of soggy buns and invisible fries.
I would have requested another waitress when the BB went AWOL.
And then I would have requested the "meal" be free.

I got my whole family (4)to eat for free once when I pointed out that 1/16th of my hamburger was raw..and I do mean Moooo!

Liked your rant though. I was entertained.

Candice Gilmer said...

I know the feeling, I had issues once with a waitress who by some strange force of nature, couldn't seem to get me an ashtray in the SMOKING SECTION of the resturaunt. Even with my pile of ashes on the table, she didn't seem to bother.

The bus boy brought me one, and he got the $2 tip, adn come to find out, our waitress was the head waitress that day...

Pretty sad.

Savannah Jordan said...

Hi, Michele!

I didn't feel like bitchin' at the management right then. But the temper was brewing! The lnoger I stewed the angier I became.

You smoke?!? I'm befuddled. I'm glad you tipped the one that deserved it, though.

Mel Francis said...

Put your complaint in writing and send it to the manager. Tell them you will not be recommending the restaurant to anyone either because of such poor service. Trust me, it will get handled and you'll get a gift certificate to encourage you to come back. :)

I was a waitress for 8 years during college and even after I graduated (the money rocked). Management hates complaints...but they hate the ones in writing even more. To get really fast results, send it to the corporate office and just copy the local place.

*ouch* trust me. That will hurt.

Savannah Jordan said...


Thanks for the advice! I think I might just have to do that. Maybe I could just copy/paste this post... NOT!!

I am not always that uncouth.