SERVICE??!?!

Danger Will Robinson! Danger! A rant is to ensue:

*spit* *snort* *snarl*

We went out to eat last night, just Mr. Jordan and I. Rarity, let me tell you. But, anyway, that's not the point. On recommendation, we went to a new restaurant that BGF Lisa told me had great atmosphere and food.

Excuse me?!?

Must have been a f*ckin parallel universe that we Jordans stepped into.

We sat to our table in the 'bar' section, (loud, busy, frenetic mojo) and this cute little thing with a fresh face and pony-tail was Johnny-on-the-spot to our table. "HI," cute smile "I'm the-one-who-should-be-serving-you and I'll be your waitress tonight."

Things went down hill from that point.

In swoops the hag. Fresh-Face Waitress was chased off by Bling-Bitch Waitress with a face like a backstop and too much jewelry which, in hindsight, I am sure was a tactical distraction from her less than sparkly attitude and less than attractive looks. "I am Bling-Bitch Waitress-from-HELL and I will be your waitress tonight."

Yeah, whatever, just get us our damn drinks, okay?

And, then, she squeals, "Oh! My parents are here!"

Bling-Bitch shot from our table side to seat her parants and wait on them. Meanwhile, we are stuck waiting for Bling-Bitch Waitress to get our damn drinks! After fawning on her parent units, Bling-Bitch brought our drinks, ice already melting in my weakass ice tea. But, then her parents got their appetizers first, her parents got 6 visits to their table while we received one. We watched Bling-Bitch screw up everyone else's orders around us. Then, she FINALLY took our order. *pre-emptive* Pulled Pork BBQ and fries. How f*ckin difficult is that?!?

Needless to say, we waited a long time for our food. Bling-Bitch's parents got their food way before us. I though to myself, "Are you f*cking the pig before ya butcher it?!?" Geezus! When our orders did arrive, the sandwhich buns were greasy/soggy, indicative of the time spent waiting on Bling-Bitch to get them and bring them to our table, the BBQ was unimpressive, and Bling-Bitch f*cked up my order. Forgot the fries, which were a special request!

We won't be going back there. And our refusal is directly related to Bling-Bitch's bad service.

I would say that she totally sucked. But that would imply that she was good for something.

Been kicking around a new concept

As if the stress of the Holidays, sick kids and fighting family members wasn't enough, pile on some wicked excitement and paperwork to sign, and then I go and get the bright idea to start yet another project...

Tentative title: Hunted

Being called a bitch was the least of her concerns. She had been called worse by better men than the corpses left behind in that deserted alley.

Given their remote location, it would be a while before the bodies were found and much, much longer before the remains were identified. She had seen to that. The teeth were smashed into their braincases, and chunks of their flesh now soured in her stomach. Those severed limbs jostled against each other within the churning acid of her guts. Digested fingerprints were impossible to read. Dental records weren't much good on gum lines.

Bastards, Sariah snarled.

They had chosen to hurl vulgarities on the one night on which she could not control the beast within her. She did not take particular exception to the terminology – in truth, they were tragically correct. In more ways than one. She was a bitch. It was the tone of their taunts, the rude gestures, the puffed chests and bulging denims. She hated that. And, in her present state, Sariah could not tolerate that derisive, tough-guy verbal swagger or the eager musk that hung heavy in the air surrounding them.

She shook her head to clear the tainted images. Blood flew from her snout to spatter the ragged blouse which hung from her neckline. She looked down at herself. Tawny hide, talons, a ripped blouse, barely recognizable now, shoes gone; but the leather skirt still clung to her hips with a savage fit. A dark laugh caught in her inhuman throat.

Carnage and leather looked good on her, she thought.

...mentioned vampires

Seeing as someone in a previous post mentioned vampires...

BLOODLUST

Hungry –
So hungry for your flesh
That my teeth throb.
It is so much more than
Carnal desire…
The dance between us,
This game of pursuit
Tantalizes,
Rises in waves
Akin to passion's heat,
Until my body burns,
Pulsating
To your unspoken name.
I want you,
Want to taste you now.
An ardent moment,
Beneath midnight's cape,
Sensual and unseen –
Touch and tease, and then,
Furtive contact
My lips soft on your body,
My teeth bearing down.
Fear mingles like spice
With the scent of your skin.
I feel your pulse falter
Beneath my tongue
As I drink you in.
And yet I am not satisfied.

Waxing poetic

Hot Night


Heavy air,
thick with moisture.
Satin drapings
cling to undisclosed curves.
Tangled, eager sheets
climb my legs.
Fingers snarl
in my tussled hair,
And,
sweat shimmers,
a tingling sheen,
glossing taught muscles,
as my body
rises to greet
an errant sultry breeze

Beastiality

Before reading this post, I want y'all to know that I am NOT saying "Here, Rover! Here, Boy...." THAT IS NASTY. With that said, read on...

What's up with the ban on beastiality thing?? I have a rightfully hot erotic short fic story, but because the male in the story has claws and fur, it's bad. Forbidden fruit. Taboo. I can't share it. No one is going to get to read it.

Not fair.

By all intents and purposes, he isn't a beast at all, but an animorphic Egypitan god. Hello?! Anubis is not animal. Sexy as hell, I think. Well, except for those *ahem* Hollywood-ized, rotted-flesh-with-golden-collars Anubis Warriors in The Mummy Returns. Ew. But, Oo! Wasn't Oded hot, fighting them, though? Sweaty, little bit of blood, tussled hair... Oh, yeah! *sigh* But, I digress.

I am half tempted to post the short fic here. But, then again, I am not sure if my (two) readers would appreciate that. (Hi, Candice! Hi, Bernita!) And what good would come of scaring away my gals? Gratification of thumbing my nose at the ban is only so satisfying, after all. Maybe I should just horde it up like the "grubby candy" that it is. Maybe not.

Any suggestions?

So damn tired this morning. My head was too heavy to lift off the pillow, yet I struggled up and into my slippers. Our son was already at the table, clinking his spoon in the cereal bowl and making my brain convulse in its un-caffienated state.

"Morning Mom." No a bright smile, no singsongy voice. He's not a morning person either. Yet there we were.

The dog happy-danced at the back door when my Hubby returned home from his third shift job. He occupied my Dell for awhile, and our daughter Kat straggled from her room. She's grumpy too, but, that's nothing new. Then, Hubby took our boy to school and Kat lost herself in the traumatic world of Animal Planet.

Hubby returned home and got into bed. The dog jumped up on one side and I slipped in behind him on the other.

That pillow felt so good against my head, the bed cozy and welcoming. Hips to hips, knees pressed to knees, nestled as tight as spoons -- the only barrier between the flesh was a layer of pajama. I ran my fingers through the hair on his chest, leaned my face closer to smell the warmth rising from his bare shoulder. I love that curve where the neck becomes the shoulder, that long lean muscle. So ready to support my tired head. So strong and resistant to tears. So perfect to bite in a heated moment.

Bite. My mind swum in a swell of heat. My jaws ached. If teeth could yearn, mine yearned for his flesh. That muscle would fit so well between my canines...

Nothing vicious. No blood. Just bite...

I leaned closer still, my nose tickeld by the fine hairs on his skin. My jaw trembled. I closed my eyes, his warmth the only sensation other than the pounding of my heart. Desire burned me.

I pressed my lips to that curve, yet retained the teeth for some other moment. Some moment when he might be awake enough to enjoy my bite.