tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post114072054445494465..comments2023-04-02T03:35:40.504-04:00Comments on "Nothing this pretty could be real.": Mean minded...Savannah Jordanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06912148806698893668noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140828958279972182006-02-24T19:55:00.000-05:002006-02-24T19:55:00.000-05:00Thanks, Bernita. Coming from you, good is great! ...Thanks, Bernita. Coming from you, good is great! <BR/><BR/>The scene was supposed to emphasize both the vengenace and the rage. <BR/><BR/>I'm not sure if I am going to integrate this scene into the novel, though, as that would then call for a complete manu rewrite.Savannah Jordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06912148806698893668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140782501888926942006-02-24T07:01:00.000-05:002006-02-24T07:01:00.000-05:00Donno, I think the first has a lot to commend it, ...Donno, I think the first has a lot to commend it, too, but then I like the raven image.Glad you kept the closing - excellent!<BR/>Think it depends a lot on what you wished to emphasize in the piece, like the rage, or whether you want to get on to a more important scene of vengeance and save the detailed wallowing for that.<BR/>Fact is, you're good.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140753180120356482006-02-23T22:53:00.000-05:002006-02-23T22:53:00.000-05:00Alexandra~ Thanks for stopping by!! Glad you got...Alexandra~ Thanks for stopping by!! Glad you got the rabbit down. :) I'll take your comment under advisement.<BR/><BR/>Tsavo~ Whether intenional or not, you've issued a challenge. I shall rise to it. <BR/><BR/>HS~ She is kinda Were-ish... <BR/><BR/>Tsavo, HS~ I take sleaker and refined as big commpliments.<BR/><BR/>Michele~ Thank you, Sweetness!! Very nice to have someone who's read the entire book comment on the scene. You're my Fangirl!Savannah Jordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06912148806698893668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140741658105929522006-02-23T19:40:00.000-05:002006-02-23T19:40:00.000-05:00Still a gripping and dark scene.The price of venge...Still a gripping and dark scene.<BR/>The price of vengence.<BR/>Unseen, coming via stealth and justification, corrupts as it avenges until vengence is equal to the original evil.Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08573730655117969888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140741245415280322006-02-23T19:34:00.000-05:002006-02-23T19:34:00.000-05:00She definitely reads like a Were to me; I do agree...She definitely reads like a Were to me; I do agree with Tsavo that your writing's a lot smoother and more refined now.Heather Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00022864805268000224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140732275139461482006-02-23T17:04:00.000-05:002006-02-23T17:04:00.000-05:00Interesting to see the metamorphosis your writing ...Interesting to see the metamorphosis your writing has undergone since this piece was written: much sleeker and more refined now than in this piece.<BR/><BR/>Nonetheless, this is still powerful, and quite gruesome, imagery (though a mite confusing to begin with: I was uncertain as to whether the protag' was a Blood or a Were until the last paragraph). I'm also curious as to how you would write the same scene now, using your current voice...Tsavo Leonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10346767165918999909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18432181.post-1140729290181127612006-02-23T16:14:00.000-05:002006-02-23T16:14:00.000-05:00Hmmm, nasty... but, the first thing I noticed on m...Hmmm, nasty... but, the first thing I noticed on my initial read was the word 'rage' jumped out at me once too often. <BR/><BR/>Oh, and thanks for stopping by, I've pretty much nailed the rabbit thing. Merci.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com